A Growing Issue in Modern Society – A Personal Account by Ralph Wilkinson.
My name is Ralph Wilkinson. I’m 57 years old and I work as an Ambulance Paramedic. I live in what I consider a nice house in Coolum Beach, Queensland. I drive a decently reliable car and I am in decent physical condition. You could say that I have nothing to worry about.
I have three sons in their twenties and two step sons aged twenty one and eighteen. I also have a wonderful partner who I have been with for fourteen years. We holiday every year, mostly to Bali and on the surface you could say we have a pretty easy and great life. What would I have to worry about? How could I possibly have any mental health issues? I mean look at me. I have most things that a lot of people strive to attain right? Good job/career, great partner, healthy children. What could possibly go wrong?
I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that issues from the past that men suffer through their life do have a vast impact on a man’s mental health as time progresses. Some men go through their life’s carrying this burden and on the surface no one knows the pain that men suffer mentally with this burden because it’s “not manly to show emotion or weakness.” So men hold this pain and anguish, struggle through, “I’m alright mate, no problems, I’m all good”. Sometimes it just comes down to the fact that men don’t know where to turn or who to turn to for mental health help.
It’s generally not until it’s too late that a man’s mental health issues are discovered. The discovery is usually found for example when the man is in his car with a hose through the window, motor still running, note next to him on the front seat outlining the anguish that he could no longer carry, the burden that is just too heavy, so he feels his only option is to opt out of life itself rather to embarrass himself by asking for help to cope with “his lot”. Sadly this is becoming more and more common. I have personally attended a lot of suicides of men aged between forty years and seventy one years of age. These were all preventable deaths. No one recognised the signs, no one thought there was anything sinister going on and in most of the cases that I have attended, the men themselves thought no one cared about them and they felt they had no one to turn to for help. Sometimes it just comes down to the fact that men don’t know where to turn or who to turn to for mental health help.
My experiences with Art Therapy and how I found out about the Process:
My partner met Lisa Moore. At this time Lisa was doing case studies and asked my partner if she would be interested in taking part. My partner loves alternative therapies and took up the offer. My partner suggested to me that Art Therapy would be good for men as well. She explained the process. She brought home some of her “art” and explained to me the basics of the sessions.
“I don’t need therapy”, I’m a well-balanced Male Paramedic who has a handle on everything”, I’m as tough as nails, so I thought. My partner suggested that a visit to Lisa wouldn’t hurt, just a bit of fun. So I decided to give it a try, purely out of curiosity.
My partner and I have had some rocky times as do all relationships and I can now freely admit that I played my part in those times. My part was a major part.
On my first visit to Lisa I drew (may I add at this point that I’m certainly not an artist by any means) a picture of a bridge and that bridge was collapsing. The bridge supports were broken the road was tumbling down to the ground below. I drew without any coercion, it came from inside me. I drew what was happening with my relationship with my partner. It took this Art Therapy session to make me realise things must change, I must change.
At one end of the bridge was a smooth straight road, no bumps, no pot holes, smooth sailing you might say. But I couldn’t get there because the bridge I had to cross to get there was collapsing in front of me. I felt unsupported by my partner in everyday life. The once strong bridge supports were now crumbling, I was crashing down. I felt alone with no support. I felt I was doing all the hard work both physically and financially to hold our house and lives together. Also I didn’t feel that I was being heard by anyone, that my opinions didn’t matter. I felt trapped. After that session I now know I had to make changes. That was my first step in understanding how my own inner most dilemmas could be rectified.
On subsequent sessions I drew my “happy place” where I felt safe and away from any drama. I drew my heart and used colours to describe how I protect myself and described through art how I build and maintain my walls for protection. Each session gave me an insight to things that were stopping me from moving forward. Art therapy showed me that there is a solution to a problem. There is no big deep and meaningful chat sessions, no pressure to have an answer for a question. The art comes from within and once you get started you will be surprised what actually comes out of your mind, transposed onto paper and you do this consciously from your sub conscious mind. The art shows you what is happening and then you can see what you need to do in order to rectify the issues.
For men in particular I think and this is only my personal opinion, that Art Therapy is a therapy where men can go and actually draw their feelings, draw their fears and draw the dilemma’s that are surrounding them in a calm quiet no pressure non clinical environment.
A lot of men seem to be unable or unwilling to articulate when it comes to dealing with their mental health. There is very little actual speaking done in art therapy which makes it an ideal platform for men to express themselves. For men to actually see what’s going on in their heads, drawn by them on a sheet of paper is one of the most powerful tools in dealing with men’s mental health that I have seen in all my years as a Paramedic.
Like me, you don’t have to be able to paint like Picasso. If like me stick figures are your thing then that’s all you need to do.
Let me ask all you men out there this question: If drawing stick figures to begin with led you to realise that there is a way to help you with any mental health issue, small or large you may have without having to talk for an hour to a psychologist in a sterile office/medical environment would you give it a try?
I will finish off by saying that in my opinion as a man Art Therapy is the ideal way for men to get the help they need when dealing with a mental health issue, big or small.
You draw the problem and you also draw the solution, it’s as simple as that. The Art Therapist is there to guide you on your journey. The therapist doesn’t offer you strategies or solutions; they are just there to guide you on your own journey of discovery and you find the solutions for your pains and anguish.
Give Art Therapy a try. It has changed my life for the better and I now enjoy peace, harmony and once again I live in a loving environment all thanks to Lisa Moore and her Art Therapy. If it worked for me then I’m sure it can work for you.
Ralph Wilkinson.
Advanced Care Paramedic
Queensland Ambulance Service.
Sunshine Coast Local Ambulance Service Network (LASN)