Is My Partner Too Controlling? A Fresh Blog Spot by Pamela Pannifex

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Is My Partner Too Controlling?

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows how easy it is to get into power-plays.

Power (having it and/or not having it) is important when it comes to matters of the heart.

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In healthy relationships, power is something that ebbs and flows between both partners, essentially equally shared.

In other relationships, power becomes something that’s wielded by one partner over another, and in these relationships, an unhealthy culture of control develops.

Despite gender stereotypes, it’s not just men who assume control over their female partners. Unhealthy control and abuse of power occurs with women as well as men.

There’s a big difference difference between normal plays for power in healthy relationships, and unhealthy relationships where one or the other partner is too controlling.

So how would you know if you are in a relationship with a partner who is too controlling? Here are some common experiences of people who are: 

1.You doubt yourself most of the time.
You downplay your relationship problems and feel confused about how important they really are
You assume that you must be a bad partner – just like he or she says you are
You have lots of “Harsh Inner Critic” negative self talk…

2. You don’t feel good about yourself.
You frequently feel anxious, stressed, depressed, unsure, vulnerable, or guilty
You don’t know what you feel – until your partner sets the emotional thermostat for the day
You focus on making your partner feel good, at the expense of your own feelings

3. You justify your partner’s controlling behaviour.
You reason that everyone else in relationships probably has the same issues
You believe that you’d never find a better partner – this is your only chance at love
You frequently protect or shield him or her from the negative opinions of others

Full article by Pamela Pannifex – HERE


Pamela Pannifex is a psychotherapist and naturopath with over 20 years experience helping people create optimal personal and relationship health.

Pamela specialises in marriage and relationship therapy. She also works with individuals and families seeking solutions to personal and relationship challenges.

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